About a month ago I went to some training (for lack of a better word) for a stay-at-home business I do on the side to earn us some extra income. A friend of mine whom I've not seen in about a year was supposed to meet up with me there.
About an hour after I get there, I get a text from my friend asking me where I was. I replied with something like, "I'm at the front of the room, over to the left of the stage. Where are you?" And she replied saying she was also to the left of the stage. I turned around to find her but I couldn't find her among the thousands of other women there so I stood up and walked to the side of the room, standing up against the wall. I sent her a text telling her where I was now.
A minute or so passes...and I'm starting to wonder if I've lost my mind. Why can't my friend find me? I know we are at the same convention center. We are in the same room, same side of the room....what is going on?
And then she sees me and comes over apologizing.
"I am so sorry!! I saw you standing there and I kept saying to myself, 'That's not Teela.' You've lost a TON of weight! You look great!!!"
And man, that made me feel good. Not to mention, this happened about 4 days before starting my 40 day juice fast.
And while I've not forgotten her kind words, when the scale was refusing to budge for me, I started having really negative thoughts. "Yeah. She said I look like I've lost weight but she's always been sweet. She was just being polite."
And my husband suggested that I go back and find some photos of me last summer, at my heaviest (around the same weight I was when I last saw my friend) so I went looking. And MAN, when you are as fat and miserable as I was, you will go to great lengths to make sure you aren't in a photo. And I did a good job of using my children as shields anytime a camera was present.
I'm almost ashamed to even share this photo....but it also shows how far I've really come on my own. And it makes me proud, which is huge. I've not been proud of myself in a very long time.
There I was, about a month after being told my husband had aggressive bone cancer, and about a week before the surgery that almost took him away from us. That's my husband holding our Little Dude 3.0 and I am trying, though not being successful at all, to hide behind Little Dude 2.0 and Little Dude 1.0.
The second photo is of me and Little Dude 1.0 and Little Dude 2.0 last night at their school play. And last night.....I felt pretty. Last night while I was in Little Dude 2.0's classroom, a little girl came up to me and said, "Mrs. Herman, you look beautiful!" and I almost cried right then and there. Silly, I know. She's just a 5 year old girl. But she thinks I'm beautiful and that gives me motivation.
A friend who doesn't recognize you due to the amount of weight you've lost, that's my motivation.
Having one of my 5 year olds wrap their arms around me and knowing they can touch their fingers.....that's motivation.
Blog comments by strangers and loyal blog readers.....that's motivation.
15.4 lbs down in 24 days.....that's motivation.
56 lbs down in about 6 months.....that's motivation.
Zipping up my size 12 jeans.....comfortably......that's motivation.
What's YOUR motivation?
