Whew. What a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
I woke up this morning with a lot of pressure in my left ear. I was bound and determined to make it to our small local farmer's market so I pushed on.
We got to the market, bought lots of fresh greens and we met some nice farmers. We told them about our juicing reboot and some of the farmers had no idea what we were talking about and then others had their own recommendation of mixed greens that is usually a big hit with other juicers. Cool!
Oh, and classic Teela. I saw these beautiful green, almost flower looking things? I knew it was probably a vegetable but I didn't really know what it was, I just knew I wanted it. So I walk up to this booth and patiently wait for all the other customers to leave (boy, I'm glad I waited) and then asked, "These look great! What is it?"
"Broccoli."
Uh huh. Smooth one, Teela. Smooth.
Anyway, the pressure in my ear soon turned painful and by the time we got home, I was nearly in tears. My husband urged me to go to Urgent Care. Once the doctor put the scope in my ear he said, "Oh man! That is one ugly, pissed off infection. Your eardrum is about to burst." He sent me away with some antibiotics and numbing drops for my ear. I get home and my husband gets ready to get my medicine and the pharmacy says they don't have the drops and that they won't be in until Monday. Today is Saturday. My eardrum is about to explode, I haven't had food in 4 days, I'm in pain, and they tell me I'll have to wait until Monday?!?! Ummm.....I was on the verge of murdering someone!!!
Long story short, we transferred the prescription to another pharmacy and after being in intense pain for 5 hours, my wonderful husband was home with numbing drops for my ear. God, I love him.
But during all of this, I got mad. I got angry. I wanted to give up. I cried and cried and cried.
Why is this so hard??? Why is my natural reaction to anything negative that happens in my life, to overeat and to overeat on such trash?
Because for years, whenever I was happy, I would eat. Whenever I was sad, I would eat. Whenever I was worried or anxious, I would eat. Whenever I wanted to celebrate, I would eat. Whenever I hung out with friends or family, I would eat. I would eat.
I would eat.
I would eat.
It didn't matter the occasion.
It didn't matter the emotion.
I rewarded myself with food.
I've done this for years. Of course breaking a nasty habit won't happen overnight. It's going to take work and dedication. I'm going to struggle but I am so gracious that I have the support of my husband and friends.
Hello, I am Teela and I am addicted to unhealthy food. I am addicted to food that WILL kill me.
I am so sorry Teela, your ear infection sounds absolutely horrible! I was thinking about the food and celebration recently as well. Even today I was thinking "When this is done we can celebrate by going to Red Robin!" Ummm excuse me what?!!!! No way girl when this is done you can eat a pound of blueberries! I think it's hard too because our whole American culture's holidays revolve around eating! Why can't the tradition on say the 4th of July be to go on a hike with your family? Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI could not agree more! Celebration time? Eat! In times of mourning? Eat! Simply visiting with friends? Food!
ReplyDeleteFood!
Food!
Food!
It's sick. Sick sick sick.
It's a good thing you decided to go to urgent care as soon as you could. The wait for the medicine may have been pretty long but imagine how it would have been if you didn't find out what was wrong to begin with. As far as the eating goes, the fact that you realize what you're doing wrong is a step in the right direction. I'm sure you can overcome it, Teela.
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